Issue No. 17: June 2011

INSANE = Inner Negative Self Allowing Nasty Emotions.

When do I feel most off balance, uncentered, even, dare I say it, INSANE? That is surely when I am listening to the rambling fears and anxieties of my Little Self, or Ego, that feels as if it is losing control or is not in control.

“Lack of power,that is our dilemma…” is a favorite quote from the 12 Step recovery communities. This refers to our inability to control people, places and things in our lives. I either bristle with disgust at that idea, or embrace it with humility, depending on my mood.

My Little Self likes to think she has some measure of control and power in her life. This may be one of the most potent crazy makers, because it brings up one of the big paradoxes…

What is a paradox? From the Online Etymology Dictionary : “a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth. From Greek paradoxon, “contrary to expectation, incredible,” from para- “contrary to” + doxa “opinion.” (Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved June 06, 2011, from website:

So when a thought or ideology is contrary to popular opinion, yet it is true, this can create a paradoxical situation.

Since my earliest memories, I have been attracted and repulsed by two related paradoxes. First, how can we have free will if there is destiny? What does free will look like in a universe that is being masterminded by some super intelligence beyond my comprehension?

The other paradox I have made peace with, so it’s not burning me up anymore: why is there evil in a world created by a just G-d? This latter paradox was finally resolved when I realized that in order for us to experience joy and all the positive emotions, there must be contrast, so the Creator built into our lives a full spectrum of emotional capacity and experiences to fully grow and learn on the emotional spectrum.

Free will vs. destiny is where the rubber still meets the road, and any kind of insanity I experience today could be traced back to this paradox.

When my Little Self decides upon a certain goal, aka destiny, and is then thwarted, things begin to get nasty, unless I can detach and accept it quickly. Let’s unpack this idea for a minute.

Fact: I am the captain of my ship, I set my intentions and pre-pave the way for my life with my thoughts….thoughts become things…I am accountable for my life. Yes! As Harvey Eker, author of The Millionaire Mind, loves to yell out, “This is true, truer and truest!”

Fact: I am powerless over people, places, things, weather, traffic, and all kinds of energy flowing outside of my body. Am I even in control of my body and its’ bodily functions? Do I really “manage” the chemical factory in this body?

I do believe I can influence my chemical factory – either for a positive or negative chemical production – but do I ultimately control it? If so, why would I ever get sick, or fat, and why would people get cancer, HIV, Parkinson’s and the whole array of diseases if we truly controlled our bodies?

Or, is it true that we do control our bodies, so people are actually CHOOSING their illnesses for mysterious cosmic reasons, be it spiritual growth or exit strategies (unconscious suicidal ideation)?

Fact: I am powerless over external events, but I do have some capacity to “control” my reactions and responses to them. That is really the only free will I see here – everything else is part of a roiling drama in our bizarre vortex of conflicting wills we fondly call “Life on Earth.”

The metaphysical literature at large today is replete with books and conferences concerning the “Law of Attraction” or the “Power of Intention.” All the authors and teachers bring us to the point where we need to ask ourselves, “What part do I play in the co-creation of my life?”

The lessons in A Course in Miracles often say that this spiritual or metaphysical curriculum is mandatory, just the time we begin it is our choice. Apparently, some of us take lifetimes to look at these issues…

So how can I avoid or reduce my insane moments? I am loosely using the word insane to mean trying to control people, places and things outside of my reach. That is the key for a good life.

I’m beginning to think that there is a dual process involved to have the best life ever…in essence, part one involves having a great, exciting vision or dream and allowing myself to see me in the dream, living it, doing it, totally part of it with much joy and delight. Then action plans are needed, with baby steps taken along the way until the dream manifests.

Part two requires me to detach from the dream, accepting that this or something better will come about.

The key is the ability to detach and practice acceptance… and this works on the micro level, between family members and friends, and on the macro level, between institutions, corporations, countries and global events.

Let’s bring this back to basics and how it applies to your life, for today.

For the month of June, take at least one person who is not listening to your wonderful advice, with whom you feel powerless (and therefore annoyed). This is the person with whom you can practice radical acceptance daily.

How does this look?

  • Journaling is helpful, writing out your negative, toxic, anxious thoughts and feelings and getting them out of your head works wonders.
  • Sharing your grief cuts it in half, so finding a safe, non-judgmental friend, counselor or spiritual guide to listen to you is a good way to let go of your frustration with this person.
  • You can spend 21 days visualizing your person in the best possible light. For example, sit for five minutes a day and picture this person in various positive experiences, see them as beautiful, healthy, prosperous and having fun. See them laughing, or riding their horse with joy or doing whatever it is that lifts them up.
  • To this visualization, you can add the short form of the Mëtta Meditation, (Unconditional Love Meditation) which is a wonderful meditation to quickly and easily let go of your negative thinking about this difficult person:

May you be healthy,
May you be happy,
May you be safe,
May you be at ease.
(take a deep breath and repeat several times)

It’s good to see your difficult person in your visualization being joyful and content while repeating this meditation several times in a row. It can have a calming effect on you, and is a nice way to send good will to someone in a non-religious context. (If you’re interested in the long form of the Mëtta Meditation, send me a request and I’ll share that with you.)

I hope these tips for more inner peace and less insanity are helpful. This is all part of my campaign to see More Mirth on Earth! Every time one of us let’s go and lightens up, there is a huge ripple effect in our family, community, country and in the world. I know this is true…and I hope you join me as we work towards more inner peace so that our world will have more peace everywhere.